Is It Love or Is It Addiction?

Real love is not addiction, nor is addiction love. But for many, these two experiences come together, resulting in tremendous pain and suffering. Through two previous editions, Is It Love or Is It Addiction? has helped countless people find their way from the trials and confusion of addictive love to the fulfillment of whole and healthy relationships. As psychotherapist Brenda Schaeffer reveals, we can begin to work through relationship difficulties with compassion and lasting effect by increasing our awareness of the ways that we express love.

In this expanded third edition, Schaeffer draws on years of feedback and new developments to foster an understanding of love addiction: what it is and what it is not, how to identify it, and, even more important, how to get out of it. Stories of real individuals struggling to develop sound relationships illustrate the characteristics of healthy love and help readers to free themselves to live life more abundantly. Included is the most up-to-date information about the biological basis of addictive behaviors and the impact of technology, sexual addiction, and relationship addiction on intimate relationships. The author also explores the influence of past abuse and trauma on the predisposition to love addiction.

I highly recommend this book to any alcoholic, chemically dependent or sexually addicted person. There is hope for a relationship without painful addictive behaviors, and this book will help you find that hope!


Very Helpful   July 20, 2005
Heather R. Maxfield (Michigan, USA)
21 out of 21 found this review helpful

Not only discusses the symptoms, but also walks you through some steps to stop it, and to work through it. A wonderful book. I keep it on my bedside and consult it frequently even though I have read it cover to cover.


One of the most important books I've ever read   July 28, 2006
merganser
20 out of 20 found this review helpful

I initially bought this book because I wondered if being in love was just an addiction. But I learned so much more than that. This book should be helpful for practically everyone. It talks about how our love relationships are related to unmet needs from childhood. It described my parents relationship almost exactly and I see how it affected me. It was amazing that anyone knew all this stuff.


BRILLIANT!   December 27, 2007
Gabey-baby
6 out of 6 found this review helpful

Well written, explains the reasons behind the toxic codependent dynamics, how to recognise them, and how to heal. A MUST HAVE!


A Powerful Book for Change!!!   February 16, 2010
Free Indeed (Eden Prairie, MN United States)
4 out of 4 found this review helpful

As I've been going through the process of my separation and
divorce, I recently read the book Is It Love or Is It Addiction?,
by Dr. Brenda Schaeffer, as a means of learning from my failed
relationship. I figure we can always learn things about ourselves
from our relationships, especially the failed ones.

The 3rd Edition of the book presents new information about
Addictive Love by making distinctions regarding "love addiction,"
"romance addiction," and "sex addiction." I've found it to be an
excellent read that is giving me greater insights into myself and
has helped me become aware of some unhealthy patterns in my
relationships.

What I also found great about the book is that it talks about the
characteristics of healthy belonging and relationships and
provides some exercises for moving into and maintaining healthy
relationships.

As you think about your relationships, or care to help others with
theirs, perhaps my review of this book will encourage you to check
it out, to gain some additional tools.